The Friendship Series

PART 3: #IRONSHARPENSIRON

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Often times we see #ironsharpensiron when people upload pictures of themselves and their friends on Social Media or we may hear the term in conversation. But what does “Iron Sharpens Iron“ really mean?

I entered into 2019 really reflecting on my friendships and decided to do this Friendship Series not only for myself but for others. Unfortunately I was only able to complete Part 1 and 2 of the series, mainly due to the busyness of work and not feeling that I was in a place to write this particular post. Throughout the year I have been able to reflect more about friendship and what this actually means, as well as the kind of friendships that I would like to have in my life. As we draw close to the end of the year, I think that it is now the right time to write this post. So here we go.

In conclusion to Part 1 and 2 of this series I emphasised that Godly friendships ultimately should be drawing you closer to God and will also sharpen you to become the person that God created you to be.

“As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”‭‭

~ Proverbs‬ ‭27:17‬ ‭~

When I think of iron sharpening iron, I think of a process of refining, or producing something that would be more beneficial. Think about it, if you were to rub two blades together the edges tend to become sharper. This makes the blades more efficient in their task to cut and slice. Likewise, when you sharpen your eyebrow pencil, this means that you are making better use of the pencil in order to have more desirable outcomes. Ultimately to sharpen something means to make it better and more efficient and this is what our friendships should look like.

Friendship is a gift from God, however sometimes it is difficult to discern the kind of friendships we should be choosing. We’ve all been there. I believe that when it comes to our friendships we really need to pray and apply wisdom.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”‭‭

~ James‬ ‭1:5‬ ‭~

I have also provided some tips below of the good qualities to look for when choosing people that you want to be in your life.

1. They Offer You Wise and Godly Counsel.

“Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”

~ Proverbs‬ ‭11:14‬ ‭~

Surrounding yourself with people who are not only able to offer you wise and Godly counsel but are also able to practice wisdom in their own lives is imperative to your Christian walk. Why? This is because it is so easy to make unwise decisions based on our emotions and feelings. Therefore it may take a friend who has knowledge of the Word of God and has more of an accurate perception during these times to give us sound advice.

“A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel,”

~ Proverbs‬ ‭1:5‬ ‭~

2. They Pray With You.

Prayer is essential, and what better way to do it with your friends. This year has really taught me the importance of coming together with friends and really laying a hold of God. This is what the Bible says:

“For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”

~ Matthew‬ ‭18:20‬ ~

So if you are looking for breakthrough in certain areas of your life, get around your friends who are prayer warriors. Gods presence will surely be there and you will begin to see things move in your life.

3. They Correct You.

A true friend will correct you when you make wrong decisions and when they see that you are going down a destructive path. This correction will always be in love.

“An open rebuke is better than hidden love!”‭‭

~ Proverbs‬ ‭27:5‬ ‭~

4. They Are Supportive.

A friend that sharpens you is one that not only understands your vision, but also supports it. They believe in you, whilst seeking to strengthen and develop you.

I think about Jonathan in the Bible when I think of a supportive friend. Jonathan understood David’s purpose and chose to stick close to his side in order for Gods purpose in David’s life to be fulfilled. He also helped him through times of trouble.

“Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, even to his sword and his bow and his belt.”

‭‭~ 1 Samuel‬ ‭18:3-4‬ ‭~

So there you go. These are some of the qualities to look for when choosing friends. Also ask yourself, are you the type of friend described above, are you sharpening those that are close to you? If not then now is the season to start developing these qualities.

I hope that this blog post was useful to you, and that you are able to consider some of the points outlined within this post. Also I do hope you all have an amazing New Year, I believe that God is really aligning people and things into their respective places to bring glory to His Kingdom.

Stay Blessed and Encouraged

Love Nkay

xoxo

P.s Please check out my Journal/Planner collection if you have not done so already at FW|MADE Store

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The Friendship Series

Part 2: Negative Friendships

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Who do you spend most of your time with? Are your closest friendships drawing you closer to Jesus? I ask this as friendships have the power to have a negative or positive impact on us. This is why the Bible tells us to choose our friends carefully.

“The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

~ Proverbs 12:26 ~

Prior to and in the beginning stages of my salvation I didn’t intentionally try to seek good friendships with people. Rather I gravitated towards people who were more like me as well as those that I shared a common interest with. Good morals wasn’t a priority as long as we got along and had “fun”.

I remember my first real experience of Church becoming friends with one particular girl. There were a lot of characteristics that I found in this girl that I overlooked including anger, bitterness and gossip. As we became closer I became more distant from my other friends, and eventually we ended up leaving the church together before going our separate ways.

The Bible is clear about friendships that we should not have.

“Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways And set a snare for your soul.”

~ Proverbs 22:24-25 ~

Being friends with an angry person may start to bring out the worst in you and even be a hindrance to your own salvation. This kind of friendship is likely to be fuelled with drama which you don’t have time for. Not only that but people may also associate you with being angry as this kind of behaviour often can draw other people in.

“A perverse man sows strife, And a whisperer separates the best of friends.”

~ Proverbs 16:28 ~

In my experience I have found that the more I was around people who spoke negatively about others, the more this changed my view of the people they would speak about. We really need to learn to guard our hearts and make wise choices regarding our friendships.

Sometimes it may get to a point where you no longer leave your friendship groups feeling encouraged or inspired. This is where you would need to evaluate the kind of impact your friends are having on you.

To summarise God wants to give you friendships that honour him and that bring him glory. This is impossible if your friendships are influencing you to participate in sin or to compromise your moral standards.

Tips:

1. Your Choice of Friendships are Your Responsibility

“He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.”

~ Proverbs 13:20 ~

As Christians it is our responsibility to recognise the relationships that God wants us to have and the ones he does not want us to have. The Bible says that we will know people by their fruits.

“You will know them by their fruits…”

~ Matthew 7:16 ~

We can start by making the choice to surround ourselves with people who are strongly rooted in Christ.

2. Set Boundaries

It is okay to distance yourself from those that are impacting on you negatively. You have to set clear boundaries within your friendships. One example could be how much time you spend around them, the places you go and the kind of conversations that you engage with. If they are real friends then they would respect those boundaries.

“Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;”

~ Psalm 1:1 ~

3. Be Secure Within Yourself

When you are not secure within yourself you may end up making wrong judgements and may settle for people who are not particularly good for you. Knowing your worth will help you to see good quality people that you should have around you.

Maybe you’re insecure and constantly looking for people to accept you. Let me tell you, God has already accepted you. Not only that, He wants to bless you with good friendships.

Do not believe the lie of the enemy. You are good enough. There is no need to settle for friendships that are outside of Gods will.

“Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.””

~ 1 Corinthians 15:33 ~

4. Knowing Gods Word

Gods word is a living testimony and stands true in this present day. There is a lot of guidance in the Bible about friendship, good and bad. If you are unsure about the kind of friendships that you need seek God first. Also get advice from Spiritual Leaders and women who are strongly rooted in Christ.

“Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”

~ Proverbs 11:14 ~

In my next blog I will be speaking about friendships that sharpen you. Please meditate on the below scripture.

“Ointment and perfume delight the heart, And the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.”

~ Proverbs 27:9 ~

Please also remember to subscribe, like and leave a comment.

Stay Blessed and Encouraged

Love Nkay xoxo

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The Friendship Series

Part 1: What is Friendship?

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Recently God has put it on my heart to speak about friendship. We all need some sort of companionship. People are the greatest gift God has given us besides Himself. But do we truly know what it means to have friends or to even be a good friend ourselves?

The Oxford Dictionary describes a friend to be “A person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.”

Human beings were made for relationships and this is demonstrated throughout the Bible.

“Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.”

~ Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 ~

Whilst writing this Blog Post I began to reflect on my friendships as well as my role as a friend. The revelation was real. Honestly speaking I realised that when my expectations are met, all is well. But when they’re unmet, I tend to feel rejected, frustrated, and deeply disappointed which leads to me feeling hurt and cutting people off. It got to a point where I didn’t want to continue living in this cycle so I knew I had to make a change. I also had to learn to forgive.

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

~ Ephesians 4:32 ~

As I studied this topic further I realised that friendship is not selfish, however is more about putting other people’s needs before my own. It is more beautiful when you think less about what you want in friendships and more about what you can do for others.

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

~ Dale Carnegie ~

Also, it is not every friendship that is good for us. Some relationships can impact us in a negative way and could be detrimental to our Salvation. It is therefore important to have friendships that point you towards Grace and truth. I will be speaking more about negative and positive friendships in part 2 and 3 of this series.

The Bible has a lot of wisdom when it comes to friendship:

1. You Must First Be Friendly.

“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

~ Proverbs 18:24 ~

Do you long to have good, loyal friends? Start by becoming a good, loyal friend. Do you want relationships built on trust? Start by becoming trustworthy.

Friendship is a two way process. You cannot expect to have good friendships when 1, you are unapproachable and 2, you are not a good friend yourself.

2. Surround Yourself With Wise People.

“He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.”

~ Proverbs 13:20 ~

There is so much to be gained by being around wise people.

In Proverbs 1:5 Solomon says that “A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel.”

3. A Friend Loves At All Times.

“A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.”

~ Proverbs 17:17 ~

There is nothing wrong having fun and sharing the same interests as your friends, however the true value of friendship comes when you are there for each other through the darkest of times.

4. Friends Sharpen Each Other.

“As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”

~ Proverbs 27:17 ~

Your friendships should sharpen you and help you to be a better version of yourself. As iron sharpens Iron your friendships should refine you, correct you and ultimately draw you closer to God.

When it comes to friendships firstly we need to remember that the foundation of great relationships are those with Jesus in it.

What does friendship mean to you? Are your friendships drawing you closer to God? Feel free to leave a comment below. Also don’t forget to subscribe.

Stay Blessed and Encouraged

Love Nkay XxX

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Queenz Space, Upcoming Events

Saved and Single Event by Tejiri

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CALLING ALL WOMEN!!!

This event is by the lovely Tejiri and will be held on 11th August 2018 at 2pm.

The aim of this event is to inspire women to live out their God ordained purpose, to walk in the power and strength given from above, no matter the season you are in.

It is called SAVED and Single because single women can often be made to feel incomplete, or be marginalised as if they are the poor Christians of the family. THIS IS A LIE. We are ALL COMPLETE in CHRIST with God given purpose.

For more details click the link below where you can also register for free:

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/saved-and-single-tickets-48259891635?ref=eios&aff=eios

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Queenz Space

Introducing Queenz Space!!!

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We Inspire | We Encourage | We Motivate

Hey guys. So I’ve decided to create a platform supporting the Christian Woman to step out and make an impact. Queenz Space is a space for Christian women to showcase their God given creativity, gifts and talents in order to reach souls. Whether you Sing, do Spoken Word, Poetry, Write, Act or do Christian Events. You are welcomed.

I have created a Facebook group where you can share your story, blog posts, YouTube videos and anything creative that will touch and inspire others. Within this group we also offer advisements.

Facebook Group link:

https://m.facebook.com/groups/1526632760797409

I have also created an Instagram page where I will feature excerpts of blog posts/ snippets of videos and a link to your platform if you wish for them to be shared. Just DM or email me. Make sure you hash tag #queenzspace

Instagram link:

https://www.instagram.com/queenz_space/

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”

~ Ephesians 2:10 ~

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