The Love Series

The Love Series Pt 5: Pride

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I have decided to finish off this series by discussing the topic of pride.

So how do you know whether you have an issue with pride? Maybe ask yourself these questions. Do you always have to have things your own way? Are you excessively stubborn? Are you unteachable? Do you always struggle to see the best in people, but have an inflated view of self? Are people always telling you that you’re prideful or Contentious? If so then it’s very likely that you have a pride problem. Many of us including myself have struggled with this, so you’re not alone.

The Bible says that Pride is the first of seven things that God hates, (Proverbs 6:16) and rightly so. Pride is the foundation of many sins and we see this with the fall of Adam and Eve in Genesis 3. Pride is also what caused Lucifer to want to be better than God and led to him losing his place in heaven.

So is it possible to love people when you are struggling with pride?

“…Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;”

~ 1 Corinthians 13:4 ~

It is not possible to fully love others when you are prideful. Pride can damage relationships as well as your testimony. Overcoming pride is fundamental to Christian living as God calls us to love each other.

The Dangers of Pride:

Pride holds you back from living your full potential and eventually leads to destruction.

Destruction

“Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.”

~ Proverbs 16:18 ~

Look at the story of Haman in the book of Esther. Haman was very prideful. It was at the point when Mordecai did not stand or tremble before him, that was filled with anger towards Mordecai. (Esther 5:9). Haman’s plot against Mordecai failed and in the end he was the one that ended up being humiliated.

“When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom.”

~ Proverbs 11:2 ~

Anger

Pride brings about anger. Haman became angry at Mordecai and this led to him plotting his death.

“By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom.”

~ Proverbs 13:10 ~

God will resist you

The bible warns us that if we do not humble ourselves and submit to each other than He will resist us. Moreover, when we humble ourselves Gods grace will always be prevalent in our lives. We need His Grace to get by. Without it we are pretty much finished.

“God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”

~ 1 Peter 5:5 ~

Spiritual Pride:

Spiritual pride takes place in so many churches today. Have you ever met someone who ticked all of the boxes when it came to Christianity? They speak in tongues, are able to recite Bible verses, do a few good deeds here and there, may even have the gift of prophesy, however their love for people is questionable. They are always in conflict with others and are unable to see where they are going wrong. To them, the issue lies with everyone else. They are never at fault. This is a form of spiritual pride and the Bible says that without love all the religious acts and good deeds will profit you nothing (1 Corinthians 13:1-3).

Pride is Worldly:

Pride is of the world and not of the Father (1 John 2:16).This means that it is not Christlike. When Christians choose to hold on to pride it is hard to distinguish those who are saved from those who are not saved.

“For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.”

~ 1 John 2:16 ~

So how do we triumph over pride?

1. Begin by praying “less of me and more of You God.”

“He must increase, but I must decrease.”

~ John 3:30 ~

When John the Baptist was called to ministry he acknowledged that Jesus was greater than all. Despite John having a number of followers he did not allow this to go to his head, but pathed the way for Jesus Christ.

2. Put others first.

“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”

~ Philippians 2:3-4 ~

Pray that God will help you in this area and make a conscious effort to be merciful, kind, humble, meek and patient towards people (Colossians 3:12). When you place others above yourself you really feel the difference as this gives less focus on yourself.

3. Realise that your sufficiency is from God.

Yes you may have achieved great things, and you may take pride in these things but you need to remember that your strength comes from God and not yourself.

“Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God,”

~ 2 Corinthians 3:5 ~

4. Be Clothed in Humility.

“Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility…”

~ 1 Peter 5:5 ~

When you are clothed with humility it is much easier to be at peace with people.

When I think of humility I think of Jesus. Out of love, Jesus paid the ultimate price for our sins. He lowered himself and became a servant just for us.

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.”

~ John 1:14 ~

There are many benefits of humility. Here are just a few:

Respect and Honour

When we are humble we will then obtain respect and honour.

“A man’s pride will bring him low, But the humble in spirit will retain honor.”

~ Proverbs 29:23 ~

Wisdom

“…But with the humble is wisdom.”

~ Proverbs 11:2 ~

Wisdom is needed in all areas of life. When you seek God’s wisdom, your judgement will be less clouded and you will be able to make better decisions.

You will be exalted

If you continue to exalt yourself and hold on to pride you will be humbled (Matthew 23:12). However when you humble yourself you are giving God the opportunity to exalt you.

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,”

~ 1 Peter 5:6 ~

Finally. Work at being Gods best. Cultivate a heart for people, a heart that is compassionate, loving, kind and patient. By doing this people will know that you are Christ Disciples (John 13:35).

Stay Blessed and Encouraged

Nkay

xoxo

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The Love Series

The Love Series Pt 4: Envy

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At the beginning of this series I spoke about what Love is and expanded on some of the facets of love such as patience and kindness. For the next two weeks I will be talking about what love is not and how we can overcome the very things that do not represent love.

The Bible talks about envy and highlights this as being something that love is not.

“…Love does not envy…”

~ I Corinthians 13:4 ~

The Oxford Dictionary says that envy is a feeling of discontentment or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck.

Envy is an emotion that all women may have experienced at some point in their lives whether you desire the possessions or qualities of another or you find yourself disliking and comparing yourself to other females.

Do you ever feel some type of way when someone achieves something good? Then you may be struggling with envy.

I remember when I was in primary school, my best friend at the time told me that she used scissors to cut the lips off of her cousins brand new doll because she wasn’t happy that she was not brought one. This is envy.

When I first got saved I did not understand why people who did not know God appeared to be living life and prospering. As far as I was concerned I was doing everything right, however these people were excelling more than me. I began to question God and he directed me to David. David experienced a time in his life where he was having similar thoughts to me.

“For I was envious of the boastful, When I saw the prosperity of the wicked.”

~ Psalms 73:3 ~

The last few verses of this chapter David then goes on to understand that despite his feelings towards people who were prospering, it was in his best interest to draw near to God and to trust Him. (Psalms 73:28).

Envy is a work of the flesh:

“Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are:…envy…of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

~ Galatians 5:19, 21 ~

Envy is a toxic emotion and those who partake in it are led by their flesh. It is also a sign of carnality and limits your growth.

Many heart issues spring from envy and it does no good when you allow it to take its toll. It can breed a number of other emotions, for example covetousness, anger, resentment and a competitive spirit. Envy will also ruin relationships and diminish good character.

“A sound heart is life to the body, But envy is rottenness to the bones.”

~ Proverbs 14:30 ~

Look at the story of Joseph and his brothers in the book of Genesis. When Joseph told his family about his dreams the Bible says that his brothers envied him (Genesis 37:11). They then conspired against him to kill him (Genesis 37:18) before selling him into slavery.

This story tells us that envy can play out within our relationships, whether it be a sibling, friend or spouse.

Another example of envy in the Bible is the story of Saul. Saul was envious of David (1 Samuel 18:6-9) and was led by the desire to be on top. This resulted in him resenting David. Sadly this attitude can also be found in the church today.

So why do people envy others?

Self

You may become envious of others when you are solely focused on self, or when you have measured your sense of self against another person. Such feelings stem from deep rooted insecurities.

“Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.”

~ Galatians 5:26 ~

Comparison

Another cause of envy may be when we compare our lives to others. Checkout my blog post Stay In Your Lane:

https://fwmade.com/2018/01/15/stay-in-your-lane/

When you compare yourself to others you will slowly start to envy others. This will only lead to discontentment because you will always want what what other people have.

Dissatisfaction

When you are dissatisfied with your life and what God has given you, you will begin to envy others. You will always be longing for the possessions or qualities of others.

So how can we overcome envy so that it does not overcome us?

1. Check Your Heart.

Whenever you find yourself feeling some type of way when something good happens to somebody else. This is the best time to check your heart.

“Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you are disqualified.”

~ 2 Corinthians 13:5 ~

If envy is something that you personally struggle with then this is something that you have to deal with now. Seek God’s love and ask Him to guide you.

“And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.”

~ Psalms 139:24 ~

2. Walk In The Spirit.

“I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.”

~ Galatians 5:16 ~

In a world where social media is prevalent it is easy to fall into the temptation of becoming carnally minded.

So what do you do?

Continue to feed your Spirit. As Christians we are called to love one another. In order to love others our desire should be to walk in the Fruit of the Spirits.

“Therefore, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking, as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby,”

~ 1 Peter 2:1-2 ~

3. Love.

Jesus says that loving others is one of the most important commandments. Paul highlights we should abide in faith, hope and love and specifies that the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13). If we walk in Love there will be no provision for any toxic emotions.

“And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.””

~ 1 Peter 4:8 ~

4. Celebrate People’s Success.

Begin to be happy about other people’s success especially when you see they are doing something for God. Be intentional and take time to congratulate them.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”

~ Romans 12:15 ~

5. Trust In God.

When you trust in God you will trust in the portion that He has given you. You will trust in His plan for your life and you will come to terms with the fact that He has not forgotten about you.

By trusting God you will be satisfied with what you have, because you will know that what you have is truly from Him.

6. Get Motivated.

Let people’s success be the motivation you need to do better. There is no need to resent someone because they are in a certain position. See it as inspiration. God has blessed you with your own unique gifts and talents. Let this be the driving force that causes you to be great.

Stay blessed and encouraged.

Nkay

xoxo

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Lifestyle, The Love Series

The Love Series Pt 3: Kindness

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Did you know that it cost nothing to be kind to people. So why are many people unkind?

When you think about kindness what does it look like to you? A kind gesture? Being generous?

The Oxford dictionary says that kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate or an act of kindness.

I have a friend and I would say that she is kind. More so than me. I actually admire this girl because no matter what she is going through or how people may treat her she always gives people the benefit of the doubt. This is a very good quality to have as being kind demonstrates our love for people.

“Love suffers long and is kind;”

~ 1 Corinthians 13:4 ~

God showed us kindness first and this is because He loves us.

“But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit,”

~ Titus 3:4-5 ~

Are you reflecting the kindness of God?

Have you ever met a person that was just rude? How would you feel knowing this person was actually a Christian? When you act in this way as a Christian, it is hard for people to differentiate between you and somebody who does not know Christ.

It is not in our human nature to be kind. That is why Galatians 5:16 tells us that Kindness is one of the Fruits of the Spirit and that we should walk in the Spirit.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,”

~ Galatians 5:22 ~

Kindness in your speech:

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.”

~ Proverbs 31:26 ~

Every time we open our mouths it is an opportunity for us to speak edifying words of wisdom to those around us.

“Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”

~ Colossians 4:6 ~

We can even be kind in our speech when correcting someone or addressing an issue.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”

~ Proverbs 15:1 ~

Being kind to your enemies:

Kindness is a lifestyle and involves being nice to people who do not particularly like you. People will hurt you, yes, but it is through the love of Christ in us that will overlook offences and still be kind to people anyway.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,”

~ Matthew 5:43-44 ~

It doesn’t take much to do something nice for somebody you care about, but how about that random person you know nothing about, or that person who was rude to you. How far are you willing to be kind in these circumstances?

“For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so?”

~ Matthew 5:46-47 ~

I would say that I am a people’s person, however at times my grace goes as far as how I am treated. This is why you have to be intentional about how you treat people.

Colossians 3:12 tells us that we should put on kindness like we are putting on clothes. What does this mean? It means that kindness needs to be a way of life.

“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering;”

~ Colossians 3:12 ~

If you struggle with being kind to people, these steps may help you.

1. Love People:

Make it a choice tolove people as God loves you. Remember this is one of the greatest commandments so make this your focus. By doing this people will know that you are a disciple of Christ.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.””

~ John 13:34-35 ~

2. Bless People:

Every morning ask God what you can do to bless somebody, whether this is giving generously or giving someone words of encouragement.

“If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; For so you will heap coals of fire on his head, And the LORD will reward you.”

~ Proverbs 25:21-22 ~

3. Do Good to People:

Do good to people, despite how they may treat you. Always strive to resolve conflict and even extend compassion to those who have hurt you. Remember, hurting people, hurt people, so if somebody has hurt you, it’s likely that they have been hurt first.

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

~ Romans 12:21 ~

4. Pray for People:

It is not actually possible to dislike someone who you are praying for. I went through a stage of struggling to like an extremely difficult person. Cussing them out did not work. Slandering their name also did not work. I began to pray for this person and let me tell you, prayer works. The more you pray for people, the more soft your heart will become towards them.

People will always remember how you treat them and how you made them feel. So be kind. Cultivate the heart of the Father.

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

~ Ephesians 4:32 ~

Remember!

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

~ Aesop ~

Stay blessed and encouraged.

Nkay

xoxo

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Lifestyle, Motivation, The Love Series

The Love Series Pt 2: Patience

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As I am doing a Love Series, I thought what better topic to talk about than to talk about patience. We’ve all been there where it feels like our patience is being tested. It may be that you’re waiting for an answer from God, maybe he’s given you a promise. It could be that you’re waiting for that situation to change or maybe it is a person that you need to exercise more patience towards. Yet, all it feels like you’re doing is waiting.

This is where you will need patience.

“Love is patient, love is kind…”

~ 1 Corinthians 13:4 ~

Patience is one of the many facets of love and is required in all aspects of life. So let’s look at two areas where you would need it.

#1. Patience in Waiting:

If you never had to wait for anything, you would never know that you had the ability to be patient. Have you ever heard of that saying? Waiting actually produces patience.

So what are you waiting for today? Since we are talking about love, this one is for all my single sisters. You may be waiting for God to bless you with a husband and as you are waiting you may feel yourself growing weary. God says…

“But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.”

~ Isaiah 40:31 ~

Wait on God. Maybe you’re tired of waiting and may feel to take matters into own hands. If you are feeling like this, consider that this is likely to have detrimental effects. Look at the story of Abraham and Sarah. Not only did God promise Abraham a son, He also promised that his descendants would be a great nation. The Bible says in Genesis 15:6 “Abraham believed in the Lord.”

However by Genesis 16 the Bible says that Sarah had borne Abraham no children. This is where we see them both take matters into their own hands. Sarah then gives Abraham her Maidservant, Hagar. Abraham, who previously “believed” in God’s promise agreed with this proposal and had a child with Hagar.

When the focus becomes the delay as opposed to what God has promised, you will end up discouraged. Not waiting on God can result in you making wrong decisions and wrong love choices.

Patience, however is the ability to accept that some things just take time. God will always strengthen us and give us courage during our waiting period.

“Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!”

~ Psalms 27:14 ~

#2: Patience with People:

Last week we spoke about loving people and a big part of this is having patience with people. This is something that I personally struggle with especially when disappointed.

There was a time where I was notoriously known for cutting people off as soon as they started acting up. I would give no word of a warning, because in my mind they already knew what they had done wrong.

Even during the time of writing this blog post I was dealing with feelings of losing patience with people, so this message is not only encouragement to myself but to you also. Yes, people will get on your nerves and some people will not always understand what you are going through but be patient with them anyway.

“with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love,”

~ Ephesians 4:2 ~

So how do we develop patience in relationships or when we have to wait for something? These are some of the things that I have learnt over the years.

1. Pursue Patience.

“…and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.”

~ 1 Timothy 6:11 ~

In order to pursue patience, you have to make it a conscious effort. When dealing with a difficult friend/ family member, go out of your way to extend patience to them. This way they will see the love of Christ in you.

2. Pray!

Praying for patience can be one of the most dangerous prayers that you could ever pray. I experienced this for the first time in 2014 where one of my prayer points was to have more patience with people. Immediately things began to go wrong and I believed that the devil had sent people to harass my life.

No matter what, pray anyway as these circumstances will perfect you and He will build up Godly character inside of you.

3. Never Forget That God Has Been Patient Towards You.

“and consider that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation—as also our beloved brother Paul, according to the wisdom given to him, has written to you,”

~ 2 Peter 3:15 ~

Every day we let God down, however He remains patient because of the love He has towards us. Without His patience, Jesus would of never made it to the cross, and we would have never been able to experience the gift of His salvation.

4. Trust God.

During times of waiting it is easy to lose hope, however trust that God will work everything out according to His timing.

“I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, And in His word I do hope.”

~ Psalms 130:5 ~

I hope this message has blessed you.

Love Nkay

xoxo

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